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Wants & Needs

from A Laudable Shit by alone family

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lyrics

I’ve been staring at your picture for at least one thousand days
you have so much to offer that will never be repaid
but there is a darkness in me that will not be assuaged
I’m scared it pulls you so I keep pushing you away
you are the ocean I want to swim across
get lost in the middle crash against your rocks
sink down to the bottom and take my very last breath
fill my lungs with water dissolve into nothingness

I want you to leave me hanging by a thread
keep your lips against my throat like you hold an axe to my head
And I don’t want you to need me without me you are on fire
I only wish to catch you like a bird to admire until you get tired

swift heavenly clammer sweetless a perfect storm
ravishing and ravenous a voracious unsated swarm
dark and delirious I search for your placid eye
the calmness that doom brings the long expected goodbye
False gods of religious love a believer I’ve never been
though I lack the faith for it I make up with diligence

keep me in your fingernails and in between your teeth
leave your heart so full there is no room for me
tempt me with your charity only to never give
steal my pleading words and run away with them instead
and dance when I am dead

In space float derelict barreling towards your fire
further than forever king of my frozen empire
No need for oxygen, reference, perception or fate
O to be filled with nothing until nothing is all I can say
Dear star please burn me blister and char my face
take my eyes from me so I never see you fade

I fear there’s nothing here for you you don’t deserve what I will do
to burn your heart in effigy of all the wrongs been to me
my beaten heart will still before your flowers wilt

I only have the strength to forge to raise up arms and fight this war
to be the one to make you sane to be the one to ease your pain
my beaten heart will still before your flowers wilt

credits

from A Laudable Shit, released June 1, 2012

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alone family Bakersfield, California

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