A Laudable Shit

by alone family

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Marmalade Jacket A concise collection of melodies that catch you when you fall. Favorite track: Fair-Weather Friend.
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credits

released June 1, 2012

All songs composed, written, performed, and recorded by Jimmy Holliday unless otherwise stated.

Mix and Mastering by Stephen Boyd
soundcloud.com/stephen-boyd

Album art done by Devon Ashby.
pornottack.tumblr.com

Fair-Weather Friend music written with Stephen Ray Taylor
No, Dear Miss music written with Jackson Ramon

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alone family Bakersfield, California

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Track Name: We're Close(d)
I’m still glued to the memory that we’d never fall apart
I’ve been sharpening my tongue on the whetstone in your heart
I try to stop the pain from pouring out of your walls
but it’s me creeping in only weakening until you are bound to fall

We’re not in love anymore we’re just close
We don’t fight anymore we just close our mouths and live in silence

One uprooting accident after another
tells me there’s more to look after than only each other
you shine so much brighter when I’m not around
so brighten up, baby and burn down this whole fucking town

We’re not in love anymore we’re just close
We don’t fight anymore we just close our mouths and live in silence
though it pains me to say
it pains me worse to stay
and there’s no turning this shit around

I’ll try to take this and make something beautiful
I’m sorry I break things, it’s what I’m known for
one day, you’ll look back to see that smile I could never bring
and you will be so very happy without me
Track Name: Whatever you are, it's starting to show
The window rolls down
Our ashes hit the ground
The road cracks with sound
And we all go down
And we can’t drive fast enough
No, we can’t drive fast enough

Our feet hit the pavement
Wonder where the day went
All our money is spent
And we can’t make the rent
The days don’t go by fast enough
No, the days don’t go by fast enough

Where did our teeth go
I use to see them all the time

Do you remember
When we wanted to go outside

Black roads, one way
Here comes another stoplight

I use to, but not now
Want to stay inside the lines

Are the roads still cold in your town
Do they make a sound like me
Whatever you are, it’s starting to show
Whoever I am, I’m starting to know
Track Name: Fair-Weather Friend
fair weather friend
forecast looks frightful
where have you been
are things looking up for you?
cold weather year
your words are delightful
long walk short pier
are you up for it?
there’s no room for fakes
so squeeze with a tight hold
until it breaks
and I can feel you no more

you’re a depressed ghost
a parasitic host, flabbergasted mostly
but how do you do it?
it’s magic, I’m sick, caustic pastiche
you’re only making fun
until you have to run
kill me with every one of your plastic guns
you play fight, damn right
mouse might, goodnight
I’ll just sleep it all off, and run to your trough
of bullshit that rots my brain and my mouth
and I hope you are better now

meaningless words
spoken so sweetly
flip-flop their meaning
and tell the truth for once
mixed up again
oh why can’t you treat me
with some sense of being
I don’t see the difference between you and I
see we’re the same
and that’s why you beat me
Brutus discreetly
what did you want me to think

are you safe?
is somebody holding you?
do you need
me to come over soon?
I’ll keep you warm
I’ll hold you close
in my arms
under a blanket
I’ll hold you close
under a blanket

fall in line just in time
don’t you know I love your sunshine
I love your sunshine.
I love your sunshine
I love your sunshine
Track Name: Love is a cop-out
I’m pretty sure love is a cop out
I’ll say it no more til my heart drops out
I'm ok with you leaving
II've given plenty good reasons

I’ve been pushing too hard
for way too long, way too long

I’ve never felt so god damn grown up
then that time you made me throw up
you fell in love with a different man
I’ll never be him, I never can

I’ve been pushing too hard
for way too long, way too long
and I need to stop writing all these stupid songs
it just seems wrong, now that you're gone
youve carried on, you’re so strong

I’ve always been good with bad decisions
I swing this hammer with precision
resistance to breaks might be the answer
but distance makes the heart grow cancer

then I told you I love you first
no wait that was you
but I said I fell in love for the first time like this
and you said that was worse
but it was true
I'm so dumb

but then I made you come
no wait that was you
but you said come back
and I said I can't
You're too strong
Track Name: Sad Song of the Desert
She is gone
Away into the darkest
clouds roll on o'er hills and valleys
when the rain fall makes his skin crawl
trees with no leaves howling banshees
That howl for his loss and howl
For her cross which sticks in the dead yard
underneath the dead dog

Moon-glow jet streams
Haunt his death dreams
Gravel-throat and leather-necked
he's soaked in eye leaks
And when he goes to bed
Rests his troubled head
And wakes up early just to start again
Stared into the Twilight
He's scared of failing eye sight
Belly-up and buckled-down
he can't make his life right
So he goes to bed
Rests his troubled head
and wakes up early just to start again

Oh no, Oh no
Bring back my baby to me, to me

But she's lost to the desert
A diamond from all the pressure
Silly old stone
Sparking alone
Far from the black poison dust
that circles their home
Track Name: King George
I am king george kind of the poor
I love to read my books
I study science show off my inventions
so that everyone can have a look
but lately of late I’ve been making mistakes
I can’t get my words straight
so I stay in the halls scoffing at walls
my cage needs a nicer paint

delirium swallows me in a warm wet embrace
the gulp of heaven

the son with my name has stolen the reigns
my head rings with whispers
an a strange woman, confused or drunk
insists I bed with her

delirium swallows me in a warm wet embrace
the gulp of heaven
oblivion hallowed seas don’t fight the waves
the gulp of heaven

an unmoved pond, an August sky
I see my land, my son, my wife
no longer plagued by the dark cave
I know what is needed done
I know what’s needed done

my daughter has found an officer from the grounds
he’s filling her head with tales
sad amelia the poor the french are on the shore
and the consumption will never quell
died on a diseased bed, I must return to my head
where I can hear the ocean swell

delirium swallows me in a warm wet embrace
the gulp of heaven
oblivion hallowed seas don’t fight the waves
the gulp of heaven
Track Name: Wants & Needs
I’ve been staring at your picture for at least one thousand days
you have so much to offer that will never be repaid
but there is a darkness in me that will not be assuaged
I’m scared it pulls you so I keep pushing you away
you are the ocean I want to swim across
get lost in the middle crash against your rocks
sink down to the bottom and take my very last breath
fill my lungs with water dissolve into nothingness

I want you to leave me hanging by a thread
keep your lips against my throat like you hold an axe to my head
And I don’t want you to need me without me you are on fire
I only wish to catch you like a bird to admire until you get tired

swift heavenly clammer sweetless a perfect storm
ravishing and ravenous a voracious unsated swarm
dark and delirious I search for your placid eye
the calmness that doom brings the long expected goodbye
False gods of religious love a believer I’ve never been
though I lack the faith for it I make up with diligence

keep me in your fingernails and in between your teeth
leave your heart so full there is no room for me
tempt me with your charity only to never give
steal my pleading words and run away with them instead
and dance when I am dead

In space float derelict barreling towards your fire
further than forever king of my frozen empire
No need for oxygen, reference, perception or fate
O to be filled with nothing until nothing is all I can say
Dear star please burn me blister and char my face
take my eyes from me so I never see you fade

I fear there’s nothing here for you you don’t deserve what I will do
to burn your heart in effigy of all the wrongs been to me
my beaten heart will still before your flowers wilt

I only have the strength to forge to raise up arms and fight this war
to be the one to make you sane to be the one to ease your pain
my beaten heart will still before your flowers wilt
Track Name: The Patagonian
The world is a pyre
and I like it
Stays burning
In my sleep
all my life
I’ve been holding on to someone
who never
held on to me

Living in a cave
selling trinkets
telling stories
of places I’ll never be
some good lies
never need an ending
tell me a story
that will make me weep

Time is just a part of life
I want to die tonight
so we’ll never sunlight
I met you in the cold
we were dying
you spit dirty ice
inside of me
Swallow you like wine
swallow you like poison
ready for the trial
listen to me speak

you’re upset most the time
like a child
waiting for someone
to lull you back to sleep
Don’t wake up
I’m ok with this dream
like a somnambulist
ambling towards the drink

you wish you could be better
I wish I could be be better
and if wishes were intentions
we could run away together
and this I know for sure
there is no shore
to be sure of,

I miss you all the time
you make me lose my mind
I’ll swallow your skin
tear and rend
eat your blood
cut you deep
wear your heart
on my knees
you are Shiva, you are Isis
you’re my genesis, you’re my crisis
death, rage, passion, hope, and shit
viscera mascara cannibalistic Gordian knit
despair and repair proof of receipt
popular demand widespread defeat
Moses on a river, Oedipus on his back
Nin and Nadja, Icarus in ash,

When we met under the chestnut tree,
I sold you and you sold me
Track Name: Sleep Forever
Turn away from August’s child
and learn my way
throw away broken dreams
Guild these thoughts of missing out
with golden words
that melt into dried cracked ears
Who am I without you
Why am I without them
Where am I finding myself now
Drunk on lies I’ve told you
Whispered tries and drowned them
Fearless when numb and half awake

Face alone all the time
Try to put it in rhymes
breaking out of the mold
abandon form
Raised another queer
Foster only fear
Peeking out from the veil
Are you too?
Leave me here to die
feel my head I’m fine
Catch me on the low
where to go
This disease over me
Fills my head with dreams
erases all the doubts
lets the slow pain out

acting the sage
never my age
warning the soldier’s back home

A desert in this breath
take but nothing’s left
sandy spittle seeps
from the deepest place in me
Called you on the phone
Just blacked out alone
A respite sun dress
leave me to the rest
fell asleep in the rain
washed away the shame
growing in broke homes
true love never known
and I was not like him
and we were not like them
we found our own way out
but things are different now

and I don’t want to sleep forever
miss out on those words said better
by friends more clever than me